here's a little update to the twelve promises to april; i've written one non-tween hearts script. i'm writing the second one right now, if i ever finish. and i don't have to not count tween hearts scripts anymore because i actually wrote my last one a couple of weeks ago.

yeah, the network decided to end our show. which makes me a lot sad, and a little grateful at the same time. why grateful? because the show has almost run for two years without a lot of cast changes. we were able to add to the cast, but we were never allowed to put much focus on them. the only time we did, the ratings dipped. so we were told never to do it again.

in short, we've almost exhausted the number of stories we could carry out with the show's two core love teams. there's one last avenue to explore with the third love team, and we've exhausted the fourth one's stories because we've already used it in the first three. and there are a myriad of reasons why we can't do certain stories on certain characters... so, yes, it was time to say goodbye.

i am a little excited about the program we're doing to replace tween hearts though. it's familiar, but totally new at the same time. i just hope it clicks the way tween hearts did.

on to other things;

(a) i've offered my services as a stills man to a friend's indie film project. on one hand, i'm happy i did. tons of new experiences and stuff. on the other, i kind of regret i did. there were other indie projects i could've volunteered to join. and, well, i'll just chalk this one up to experience and move on. i don't wish to speak of this ever again.

(b) the weather is torture here in the philippines right now. it's almost eleven at night and the heat is still intolerable. it's very, very hot. and i really can't concentrate when it's hot, so a lot of my work takes double the time. hench why i'm still not finished with the script i've been writing for two days now. this took me half a day late last year, when it wasn't this hot.

i'm really having a hard time focusing.

(c) i'm excited about hong kong. very, very excited. i can't wait to get away, even for just four days. it's a different experience, because this will be the longest time i'll be really away from family.

i mean, there was the planning seminar back in college, but that was just a weekend. in school. and i could've gone home any time i wished to. and i'm also not counting this past holy week, because i might have been away from my family--but i was at home.

so, yeah. excited about hong kong.

(d) now i'm just procrastinating. i better get back to my writing. and conceptualizing. and video editing.

i've finally updated my blogs! all... (counts.) three of them! four, including this one! i remember having more. but i'm just glad there's only four of them to maintain now. i've even queued a blog post for taking a break. two blog posts, if the work i'm supposed to do doesn't come in by tomorrow morning.

and, well, the real reason i wanted to blog today is actually because of last night's blog. where i said i wasn't afraid of monsters anymore. i omitted the part where i say i'm still definitely afraid of ghosts. and wouldn't you know it, that same night, i dream that i'm dreaming about ghosts. and i wake up, to the first level of dream, that i was confronted by ghosts.

when i wake up the second time, this time in reality, i realize that i'm all alone in the house. the witching hour (3 a.m., here in the philippines) has yet to pass. and it was still, technically, black saturday. jesus christ wasn't alive yet. if something supernatural was to happen, and if ghouls were to kill me, that would be the perfect time for them to strike.

why do i know the time? because i turned my ipod on so i could tweet about the dream. why? i don't know, i just wanted to share it. i didn't want that scary thought all to myself! and after tweeting it, my internet connection at home started going wonky. it wouldn't let me connect anymore! i was cut off from everyone!

laugh at me if you want, but i swear i did not go back to sleep until it was way over three in the morning. call me superstitious, but i felt better knowing that the witching hour was over.

because, you know what? i don't tend to remember my dreams. it rarely happens that i would remember a dream. i've maybe immortalized a couple here on this very blog. but those dreams are usually something that would probably never happen in real life.

the dream i had last night was this:

i was with my cousin. we were building something with small pebbles. white. gray. black. there were three other people with us, and we were just building and building and building--you get the idea. sometime along the way, i get sleepy and i was somewhere else.

i don't actually remember this part. i remember running. i remember that it was scary. my heart was pumping. and then i wake up. in a cemetery. and i was staring at the three people who were building that pebble structure with my cousin and i. it was morning and they were transluscent. and i asked where my cousin was, and they told me that he was with them now. i asked where, and they didn't reply.

i asked why, and they said because they like doing it. they like taking people with them. and that they'd do it again. and then flashes of images flooded my head, about a group of teenagers committing suicide in that cemetery. about the sudden disappearances of people in that place. and then, just before i wake up for real, a whisper:

louisiana.

and the first thing i think about, waking up, was that my family was heading home that morning. from baguio. and they would be taking the road that causes accidents on a regular basis. and with this thinking that my family will be leaving at dawn, i take out my phone, and text my mom: be careful. i just had to do it.

and that's when the itch to tweet came in.

the first thing i did when morning came was to search if there were any mass suicides in louisiana that had five teens involved. none came up on google search. i'm hoping that the whole dream was a work of my imagination. i'd rather believe that i have a morbid mind than find out i've seen something supernatural happen halfway 'round the world.

i am typing this with a scottish accent. i just wanted to say that. for some reason, even my thoughts are coming out scottish. and it's all because of a youtube video that i watched. what is it with me and accents?

anyway, that wasn't what i was supposed to write about. so let's move on, shall we?

today is black saturday. i don't actually know what it means, on account of not practicing my christian religion. (yes, i was baptized. but i never confirmed.) when i was a kid though, my younger sister's nanny would scare me into thinking that this was the day when monsters came out, because jesus won't come alive until easter sunday.

being the coward that i am, i gobbled it up. i think this year is the first time i'm not cowering under my blankets for fear of the so-called monsters. that's because i understand now that the monsters i've been fearing were concocted by the spanish people so that the filipino would be too scared to go out at night, and so that they would convert to the religion they brought with them. the real filipino "monsters" might be malevolent, but they only harm people when they get hurt. in short, they only retaliate.

but enough about monsters and history. this was supposed to be about the holy week being a long weekend holiday. and how it was supposed to be my time to, well, aside from work, i was also supposed to spend time on cleaning my room. except, well, work took a lot of time to finish. so, nothing was actually cleaned. and i still have some more work to do.

i guess i'll just have to do the cleaning when things settle down. i don't know when that's going to happen though. i am grateful though at all the work i've been getting. especially since i've been making a lot of expensive purchases. at least i know where that i'm getting money to pay for them.

hey, if 2012 does end up to be our last year on earth, it helps to have done a lot and spent a lot. it's not like i'm running myself to bankruptcy. i'm just spending more than normal is all.

and now, i'm going to bed. curl up with a book while waiting for text messages. tomorrow morning, i'm going back to working.

good night, folks.

i love my job, i do. but i must say that there are days when all i want to do is sit back and relax--and i can't. thing is, i can't really blame my job for this. it was what i wanted. i have to grin and bear it. but i think i have learned a big lesson off of this. never bite off more than i can chew, and it's okay to say no. even if you have to live in fear that your next project might be a ways off after doing so. it's three minutes to midnight, and i'm still revising a script. all i want to do is go to bed and enjoy the next six hours asleep, but i can't. because this script needs to be submitted before five in the morning. a deadline i can meet, sure. but there's already that fear that it might not meet expectations again. this is, after all, my third revision. but i have to soldier on. and so i shall.

okay, so the past month has been hectic. very hectic. and now, well, the first week of april is set to be more laidback than the weeks that came before. i only have 2-3 meetings set out for this week. and, come may, i'm going to be a part of less projects. which is sad, but at the same time, i think i should welcome the respite.

on to other things; the gym thing is really a joke. i've only been to twice last month. funny thing is, i stopped going after i got my membership "card" which will expire this month. oh well. i plan on going back tomorrow.

no holy week plans except to write, to fix/clean my room, and maybe swim. we'll see.

oh, and i now own an ipod touch. i was thinking of getting another ipod shuffle, to replace the stolen one; but when i asked if there are already plans of releasing a fifth gen shuffle, the salespeople said there haven't been any announcements. (i know, i could've just surfed/researched online, but i was lazy. and i was already at the store.) and i didn't really want to buy the same gadget that got stolen.

couple that with me wanting this app, and getting addicted to draw something... well, it was a not a surprise that i would end up buying an ipod touch. why not an iphone? because i hate touchscreen phones. with a passion. mostly due to the fact that when i answer calls, i accidentally end them as well.

i just want to be alive.

and i'm no closer to my twelve 2012 promises.

okay, so here's a summary on what's happened in the last month:

i went to singapore. i have pictures, and a video, but i have yet to find the time to go over them all so i could upload them. well, i've already uploaded the video. the photos though--well, it's still sitting here in my computer, wondering when i'll get around to sorting through them to upload.

i got new shows. i'm still with tween hearts, but i'm also part of three new shows that are launching soon. alice bungisngis which is about a girl whose words tend to come true; the good daughter is a family drama about taking back what's rightfully yours; and hiram na puso which deals with moral ambiguities. on top of that, i'm also handling (officially) the social media management for two programs: the recently launched legacy and the about-to-premiere my beloved. so that's six shows.

earlier this month, i made a wish on my birthday. one wish that i shared with those who asked: i wanted more shows. a friend told me to be careful with what i wished for. and wouldn't you know it? i did get my wish. i'm not sleeping, not eating properly, and i've already had two migraine attacks in one month, but i have shows. and i did make a promise never to turn down projects again. so, instead, i'll need to reconfigure my schedule to be able to fit in everything i need to do.

social life? what social life?

i enrolled with planet infinity. this one's a pretty recent development. i'll start going to the gym sometime next week. if i figure out a way to clear my thursday mornings (and two other mornings). i still have to schedule my orientation. i was planning on going tomorrow morning... but, i'm still waiting for confirmation if i'm going to a taping or not.

on to my twelve promises: i still haven't been able to start on the room clean-up, and i wasn't able to take a photo of my room yesterday (the official end of january). i was able to cut back on my frappucinos and sodas and junk food though. well, i did binge a bit on chocolate, after returning from singapore...

i've taken more photos too. not pictorials though. also, been practicing my video editing skills a lot. and that's pretty much it.

i hope february will be more productive.

first off; i made a mistake. i think i've already mentioned that i play zombie lane. well, a couple of days ago, the google+ page of the game offered to make a shared circle for those who are looking for neighbors. i made the mistake of putting my name in. now i have more than a hundred new "friends" over at google+ because of zombie lane.

the problem? now, i'm addicted to the game. because people keep adding me, and they're giving me energy drinks that add to the energy bar--allowing me to play longer. this is bad.

work front is pretty much the same. except, oddly enough, my work load seems to have grown heavier. i'm not complaining though. now, if only i could work on my laziness. well, i can work on it--but how to make me being non-lazy stick? that's still a problem to solve.

i've finally managed to update my book/tv/movie blog. finally. except, when i finally finish posting the reactions i've accumulated since december, i won't have new content again. mostly on account of the fact that i have heavier work load now. there is a reason why i called the blog "taking a break." but how do you take a break when you can't afford the time?

and i know it's been a while since i blogged, but i have to keep this short. i still have one taking a break post to finish, and a script to read. tomorrow's an early day too, i'm attending the pictorial for a new show--because i'll be handling its exclusive online content. which was also my idea.

i really should stop proposing new ideas. unless i create a team that could do the stuff i'm doing. ... except, with my salary, i don't think i can afford to have a team.

okay, so it's two in the morning and i'm still awake. mostly because i've gotten used to sleeping at this hour while i was in singapore. and, you know, not sleeping at all the two days prior to leaving for singapore.

i've got two things to finish before i sleep, but my brain's stopped working a few hours ago. so i've been staring at the screen for close to two hours now. but i refuse to give up. until three a.m., that is. i'm pretty sure i'm going to sleep like a log by that time. except i really shouldn't, as one of the things i'm supposed to finish was due yesterday.

i hate having deadlines that didn't exist prior to knowing about them.

yes, that was supposed to be a punchline. except it's also true. i knew the deadline existed--i just didn't know when it was going to fall. also, i was in singapore until the other night. i was only told of the deadline less than 10 hours ago, and i've got no material to work with. making excuses? yes. also, i'm trying to get my brain to start spinning its wheels. if making up excuses helps it work, then i'm going to do it until it's prime and running.

until that happens though, let me recount my four days in singapore.

( because, really, would you want to read my ramblings? )

and thus end my recollection of my days in singapore.