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16 February 2016 @ 07:45 pm
the one where i'm a little rusty  
it's been three months since i last wrote a script for local television. at the start of my 'vacation,' putting down the figurative pen was a welcome relief. by then, i had been writing (more or less) non-stop since 2014. which isn't a complaint. as i always say, i love what i do. but, let's face it, breaks are very important as well. except, well-- the one month break became two, and then-- well, now, it's been three months. and i'm a little rusty.

there are some things you don't forget, true. whereas it used to take me a full day to write a treatment when i was starting out, sometimes more, it only took me a few hours with my latest assignment. unfortunately, after writing, i realized a lot of things. i've forgotten a lot of the elements needed for an episode of a filipino television show. and having only written treatments for the short form platform of youtube, i've also forgotten to include highlights and cliffhangers for commercial gaps. so i rewrote.

it took me more than a week to finally submit a treatment i was comfortable with, but i still had a lot of apprehensions. it has been a while, after all.

when i didn't hear back for a number of days, i was already setting myself up for major revisions. i actually wrote on my to-do list that i would probably need to make another treatment for the episode. i've accepted it. but then my treatment came back with a message that said i could go straight to scripting.

and that's when i hit another snag.

remember the not having written any scripts for the past three months? yeah, now, i'm a little overwhelmed. i was supposed to have submitted my script last night, but until now i keep rewriting my sequences and second-guessing everything.

the thing with writing is, you have to keep doing it. you have to keep fooling yourself, and others, that you know what you're doing. you stop, and the doubts come back. you stop, and the fear sets back in. so now i stare at what i've written, and hit the backspace button again.

this isn't writer's block.

this is a writer's life.
 
 
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